Protecting

Part of self-love is protecting ourselves from others and certain situations. Life is complicated, and everyone needs to understand that self-protection is a form of self-love. To protect entails looking after someone or something. Whenever we sense the need for protection, it is our early-warning sign and by acting on our gut feelings, we can keep safe.

All of us know what and who we have to protect ourselves from. However, implementing it is another story. When we have been brought up to please others, our first instinct will be to protect everyone else, bar ourselves. In a sense, our needs do not factor into the big picture.

Self-love is self-protection. In the process of looking after who we are, we are empowered to respond to our emotions, not the emotions of others. Our change in behavior may upset some people and they may respond negatively. Regardless, when we love ourselves enough to use protective methods, we model good self-love practices.

Self-protection can be as simple as not driving when we are too tired, or refraining from drinking when everyone else is drinking. It may be standing up to abuse in a social setting, or leaving the area when we feel uncomfortable or violated. Some actions will be noticed, but not all stands of self-protection are obvious. Being silent when it is wise to do so is self-protection. Not being controlled by family and friends is another form.

Protecting ourselves from being hurt and having a voice further increases self-awareness and therefore, keeps us safe.

Protecting ourselves is a healthy way to live. Remember that protections are not walls. They are flexible fences we erect when necessary. With some individuals, we have to erect permanent fences; with others, temporary ones and then there are the blessed individuals against whom protection is never required.

Self-protection is the love we bestow upon ourselves and in doing so, we increase our bounty of self-love.

 

Nurturing 

Nurturing others is a great power, but doing so at the expense of our own wellbeing is contrary to self-love. For those of us who struggle to put ourselves above others, this concept might even resemble selfishness.

We must come first and everyone and everything else second. However, having self-love as our primary intention does not require us to come first every time. In certain situations, we may choose to nurture others ahead of ourselves.

By nurturing ourselves, we choose what fits best for us. Every situation is different and has its own set of challenges.

I am writing in this manner because selfless individuals find nurturing everyone else easier than nurturing themselves. Therefore, to come into this new fashion of living I hope to show that we can have the best of both worlds.

Selfish people only consider nurturing themselves and want everyone else to do likewise. Unselfish people nurture everyone and neglect to nurture themselves. It is an opposite lifestyle choice.

Nurturing ourselves is a healthy and necessary endeavor. In the end, we are responsible for our lives and how we deal with what comes our way. To nurture means we take care of who we are. As a consequence, we can more easily take care of everyone else.

Self-love is self-nurturing. Whether we refrain from a big night out with the girls because we know sleep is more important, or decide not to cook dinner but buy takeaway because we are tired, it comes under the self-nurturing umbrella.

Self-nurturing is not selfishness. When we are selfish, others are always affected and our intentions have a negative effect on them.

Self-nurturing is a skill we possess, and it serves to nourish us. It is a gift to ourselves and ultimately, a gift for those involved with us. A well-nurtured individual does not seek much from people, as they are self-sufficient in self-love.

 

Spoiling ourselves

When we spoil another, we show in some unique way that they are special and that the union we share is worth honoring. We give them more love and attention.

Spoiling is a loving form of nurturing and pampering.

It seems strange to write about spoiling ourselves, but it simply means giving yourself treats and special attention. Not everyone has a partner in his or her life and during parts of our adulthood, we can be quite alone.

Be that as it may, many of the loving gestures we assign to a romance or friendship can be enjoyed whether we are single or in a relationship. If you love flowers, then buy some. Grab a box of your favorite chocolates or indulge in a cozy night at home watching your favorite movie. Walk along the beach and soak in the sunset and twinkling seas. Run a hot bath, add your oils and petals, light the candles, and enjoy!

No one has to miss out, as long as they are prepared to fill their own love bucket. Naturally, most of us wish for that special partner. Nevertheless, if that person is not available, full your own bucket.

In spoiling ourselves, we are showing self-love. Honestly, not all experiences require a partner. Therefore, it is easy to be fulfilled in this area and to make your life richer.

We can engage in the gift of giving. These kind deeds make our family and friends feel loved and special. Often, our actions have a surprise element, and this makes it extra special. Roses for Mum, special nibbles for Dad, a surprise gift for a friend, and a special night out for your son and his wife are fine examples.

Shower yourself and others with love and you will be part of a special way of showing how exceptional we are.

Coming from Love

 

Loving our body

Our society loves a young body and anyone over forty is well past their use-by date, according to the media. Women are particularly judged in this unrealistic and harsh manner. Therefore, with this negative press, it will take a big effort on our part to love our body. If we have always felt that we are not good enough, then being older will challenge us more.

Our body is our sacred temple. Without it, nothing can happen on this earthly plane. We need our body to perform countless activities and every day, we should thank it.

The message we receive through the media, other people, and the movie industry is that our worth is tied to how we look. The more beautiful we are in society’s eyes, the more lovable we are.

Most people dislike certain areas of their physical self. This is a sad and prevalent view held by many. Everyone has issues with their looks, even the super models. This is self-loathing at work. Our body mirrors the journey it has taken. It is supposed to age and change with time. Bearing children will also change it.

When I began loving my body, I felt daunted. Instead of loving how I looked, I felt very much the opposite. In my earlier life, I had been compared unfavorably to my prettier sister. Unfortunately, this made me feel ugly at ten! Our earlier programming impacts so much on our self-image.

Learning to love our body will take time and effort. The unflattering comments have to go. We have to rewrite our history.

Every day, try to find something beautiful in your physical being and tell yourself how great your skin is or what lovely hair you have. We need to replace the old words with new ones. I did this and once I had placed positive thoughts into my mind, I started the harder work. The harder work is learning to love the parts of us that we struggle with. Slowly, I fell in love with my wobbly tummy and my freckles. Gradually, I gave these areas love and acceptance.

Loving our body is reflected in how we take care of ourselves. Eating well, and getting enough exercise and sleep is self-love. Lessening our reliance on addictive foods, drinks, and drugs brings us to a place of loving ourselves. When we are trashing our temple, we are not showing and giving love to our body. We have to pamper that body. Dress it in beautiful garments, oil and perfume it, and treat it with care.

Loving our body is self-nurturing; it is self-love.

Once I had worked on my body issues, I felt a greater sense of personal power. I decided that I would strive to love all the parts of me and nourish myself in the process. I stopped saying dreadful things about how I looked and did not allow any negative thinking to come in. I focused on only having loving thoughts.

Love your body unconditionally. Remember that when we love our body completely, we increase our store of love and acceptance.

Seek to find your peace with the body you have been given. Love and cherish it and in doing so, heal yourself.

How to Love a Narcissist

 

How to love yourself

There are many books and courses that encourage us to love ourselves. This is a wonderful shift in human consciousness.

On a practical level how do we do this successfully? In my case, I used numerous strategies in an attempt to change my consciousness.

After badmouthing myself for decades, I listened to my take on life and shut down the bad talk. If I said a negative or disparaging comment regarding who I was, I immediately acknowledged it, and stopped letting it manifest.

Every day, I listed my good points in my head. I did ten of them at a time. The next day, I listed ten new ones. This became a method of self-talk. I used Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT) to remove outdated messages that I had been playing over and over in my head. If you are interested in EFT, you can find a lot of information about it on the Internet.

A practical exercise I did was making myself stand in front of the mirror and telling myself that I loved all of me, including the parts I wrestled with. Of all the modalities I used, this one brought up the most emotion. Frequently, until I filled up my self-love bucket, I would simply stand there crying and sometimes, I was unable to speak. During these moments, I realized how amazing the process was, and how much I needed to do it repeatedly.

In addition, I wrote lists of my gifts and accomplishments and read them aloud. There is something phenomenal about voicing your thoughts and feelings. Somehow, it takes the healing to another place. If you then read out your list to another person, the impact is greater. The healing we gain from this simple process is much more than we know.

In reinventing the new me, I decided to surround myself only with people who nurtured me. Those who could not, I avoided or stood up to. In the situations where I could do neither, I chose to take their awful comments and symbolically throw their words into the fire.

Looking after who we are is self-love, and keeping negativity at bay is a good decision.

Anyone who tries to sow the seed of doubt in you or withholds their support is not giving you love. These souls have little self-love and may find it almost impossible to give love to anyone, and that will include you.

I focused on looking after my body, mind, and soul. With that decision, my self-love increased and instead of berating and punishing myself, I showered myself in self-love. In addition, eating well, exercising, keeping mentally active, having social and solitary time, and generally being the best parent and friend to myself paid dividends.

As I continued to work on the areas I wished to improve, I came from a loving angle, encouraging and praising myself and getting rid of any form of self-loathing or self-punishment.

On a spiritual level, I filled my body with love and asked to be guided in this wondrous journey. I read books that inspired me, talked to wise souls and stopped negatively comparing who I was with other people.

This shift took concentrated work yet all the time, I knew it was doing me good. Initially, it was hard to see the changes. Gradually, they appeared.

These steps have brought me to a place where I can truthfully say that I love who I am. This has been a massive achievement, especially considering where I began.

Everyone can attain self-love. With daily practice and single focus, someone who dislikes themselves can change their entire life.

When we learn this lesson in love, it transfers into everything else. Being in a state of self-love, our capacity to love everybody and everything in the world is heightened.

Use my methods, use your methods, and keep working towards a new loving life. One of the greatest accomplishments humans can do is to embrace who they are and live in self-love.